My Least Favourite Job
Sometimes things just don’t go to plan as I discovered yesterday evening when I went to dump some bottles in the rubbish place in my apartment building.
I live on the fifth floor of the building and there is a chute on each floor which we can use for disposing of small items. The chute is just big enough to take a small Monoprix supermarket bag full of trash. However, we are supposed to separate our used glass bottles, plastic bottles, paper waste and garden rubbish and put each into separate coloured wheelie bins parked down in the basement of the building.
I don’t know why, but this is my least favourite job – well, this and standing in an interminable Monoprix supermarket checkout queue which deserves a whole blog to itself. Because I find disposing of my bottles such a drag I tend to let them collect for much longer than I should before disposing of them. Yesterday evening I excelled myself and did the job but, to make it more interesting, I thought I would take my recorder with me to record the sound of the bottles going into the bins for my sound effects collection.
I collected the bag of bottles from the kitchen, took the lift down six floors to the basement and then dumped the bottles into their respective bins. So far so good.
All that now remained was to take the lift back up the six floors to my apartment carrying my empty bag. Lifts are rather like computers, they’re wonderful things especially when they work – and this particular lift didn’t! Somewhere between me arriving and wanting to leave au sous-sol the wretched thing had died. Persistent button pressing failed to bring it to life, “Beam me up Scotty”, had no effect either and so there remained only one alternative – to climb up six flights of stairs! This wasn’t in the script and it shouldn’t happen to someone who only uses stairs if they’re moving. Climbing up one floor brought me into the lobby which I had to cross before making the ascent up the remaining five floors.
In my defence, it’s not just a question of being unfit. Whilst most people run on high-octane natural energy, I am battery-powered. Next time, I shall let the bottles pile up even higher before I embark on another expedition au sous-sol.
These recordings are binaural. To get the best effect you should listen using headphones.